This morning I was packing my bags to come to work. Handbag. Breast pump and…
Doctors are stupid.
Just because I didn’t go to medical school, it doesn’t mean I’m stupid. And just because you did, it doesn’t make you better than me. Doctors are fucking annoying.
This is a little dated, but I was just thinking about it, and it pissed me off. So I’m ranting.
5 hours after I gave birth to Sulaiman, the doctors did their rounds and came to talk to me. This is the first thing she said to me:
Doc: When are you planning on having your next child?
Me: (thinking) I just experienced the most excruciating labour and birth, and tore my entire vagina open pushing out a fat baby. I haven’t slept in 24 hours, my body is still stained with blood, and everything hurts. The last thing on my mind is having another baby… I dunno, I haven’t thought about it.
Doc: (shakes her head) How many children do you plan on having?
Me: (thinking) I’ve never set a number. I never planned for any of my children. I’ll have as many or as few babies as God blesses me with. I haven’t got a plan.
Doc: (big sigh) Have you heard of contraception?
Me: (thinking) Fuck you. Yes, I used to be on the pill, then I stopped.
Doc: Because you got fat?
Me: (thinking) Double fuck you. No. I kept forgetting to take it at the same time everyday.
Doc: Contraception is really important. There are many different types… (continues rambling as if I’m a dipshit) You need to sit down with your husband, ok? And discuss your family. The size. The age gap. Contraception. The nurse will give you a pamphlet with pictures.
And she walks away. She never even looked at Sulaiman. Or me. Dumbass. I know, people like this look at me – 25, married with two kids, Malay, wearing a headscarf – and they automatically assume I’m uneducated, stupid, simple, retarded.
Fuck you all.