I Tried Out Durian Condoms

So today Sam wrote a story about durian flavoured condoms from the company ONE. A short while after it was published, ONE shared it on their Facebook. And I’m not sure how this happened but that afternoon they sent over a bag full of durian flavoured condoms.

I love them. For their packaging.

They smell like durian cake. It was kinda yummy but mostly lubricant-smelling. Which is not so nice. I opened the “thorny” one. And it was studded. Much fun. I did not expect it to blow up when I put my fist in. But it did. And everyone thought it was funny. So did I.

Nothing brings a bunch of adults together quite like the mutual giggling of funny scented condoms.

But would I actually use them for sexy time?

Fuck no. They smell like durian, which is bad enough. Imagine that smell mixed with the smell of a vagina plus the smell of sweaty balls plus the smell of semen. Thanks but no thanks.

And don’t scented condoms lead to UTIs? Are they meant for oral only? I vaguely remember something like that being mentioned during Sex Ed some 15 years ago.

Ohmygosh I’m old and married and have three children.