Hello, I Am Praganant… Again.

Ever since my miscarriage 11 years ago (homaiwowiamsoold), I’ve been very secretive of my pregnancies. I don’t believe in jinxing them or anything like that. Just kinda traumatised having to explain to so many people that my baby died. Didn’t wanna have to do that again.

I only tell family once I hit that 4+ month mark and have the thumbs up of good health from the gynae. Strong heart beat, developmentally on track.

Anyhoo, 11 years, 4 pregnancies, and 3 healthy babies later, I’ve decided this 5th one is going to be my last. I’m 31. I’ll be 32 when this little one arrives. And I want to remember it. Because tbh I forgot all the details of my time carrying Ayub, Sulaiman, then Aisha. I want to remember, no matter what happens.

So prepare yourself for lots of miserable tmi pregnancy posts for the next 9 months. I am not one of those gorgeous glowing expectant mothers, wrapped up in a maternal glow of angels and rainbows. I’m a fat constipated cow that pukes a lot. Nyahahaha.

Ramadan started on Thursday. My period was due on Friday. It didn’t arrive. I just kept fasting. No big deal. On Monday I felt so awful. I wanted to throw up after sahur but kept it down. Figured my body just wasn’t used to eating so early in the morning. The rest of the day I was miserable. So much trapped wind, feeling super bloated yet hungry. Had my meal at iftar. Puked it all up shortly after. Extra painful because sambal somehow gets even spicier and burns your throat when it comes up the other way.

Figured I just had a bad fasting day. Try better tomorrow. Had a feeling I could be pregnant but it was way too early to have symptoms.

Tuesday morning puked after sahur. Ef this shiz. Astaghfirullah. No more fasting for me.

Wednesday morning took a pregnancy test. Two lines means positive. One line means negative. Positive.

Thursday morning took another pregnancy test. Two lines means positive. One line means negative. Positive.

Checked online pregnancy calculator. Am 4 weeks praganant. Baby size of a poppy seed. Wreaking havoc throughout my body.

Went to the klinik ibu Dan kanak kanak. Nurses said baby is still too small for a check up. Come back at 7 weeks.

The end.