What To Do When You Have UTI And Food Poisoning At The Same Time

Answer: Crawl into a hole and cry.

Alternately if you don’t have a hole nearby to crawl into, feel free to curl yourself into a ball and cry.

And if crying is not your thing, a great way to pass the time while the pain and discomfort set in is to bark orders at your husband and get him to do housework followed by giving you an awesome foot rub.

Poor hubby. I have the best husband in the world.

So here’s what happened to me two days ago…

Urinary Tract Infection (UTI)

Defined by MayoClinic.org as:

“A urinary tract infection (UTI) is an infection in any part of your urinary system — your kidneys, ureters, bladder and urethra. Most infections involve the lower urinary tract — the bladder and the urethra.”

Defined by the Ninja Housewife as:

The feeling of peeing hot liquid magma; always having the need to pee even though there is no pee, thus going back to the feeling of peeing hot liquid magma.

Everything burns and hurts as though tiny dickheads are both twisting and stretching your lower gut and uretha, while stabbing the area repeatedly with minuscule pitchforks that have been heated in a fire.

This pain is especially present during times of standing, sitting, lying, walking, running, hopping, curl-into-a-balling, squatting and hoola-hooping.

Also in my case, but apparently not according to Google, incredibly uncomfortable constipation.

Take that and add it to this little gem of an illness…

Food Poisoning

Defined by MayoClinic.org as:

“Food poisoning, also called foodborne illness, is illness caused by eating contaminated food. Infectious organisms — including bacteria, viruses and parasites — or their toxins are the most common causes of food poisoning.”

Defined by the Ninja Housewife as:

Ok, well, MayoClinic is pretty spot on. Plus, I’d rather not go into the details of my poop and vomit.

I wrote about it in my food blog. If you’re interested to know more just visit Ninja Fatness. 

 

It was HORRIBLE.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt so miserable. UTI on its own is already one hell of a bitch to handle. But coupled with the food poisoning?

FML.

I had to eat in order to take my antibiotics. Shortly after I’d eat, I’d vomit. So I stopped eating and just had a warm drink of Nestum. Vomited that too.

I had to drink lots of water for the UTI. Vomit.

And so because I wasn’t getting enough liquids, the pain was ridiculous whenever I felt like peeing… which was ALL THE TIME.

Hot liquid magma remember?

Due to the fact that I couldn’t keep any food down, but had to take the antibiotics (or be stuck in the hell of UTI forever) I got gastric. Followed by trapped wind. Which not only added to the all round pain and upped the miserable factor some hundred-fold, it made the vomiting more than projectile. It was volatile.

Now I always get constipated when I have UTI. I don’t know why. But there you go. So to feel constipated, but have diarrhea… now that’s messed up.

 

Anyway, the hubby got me through it.

He picked the kids from school, cooked them dinner, fed them, got them ready for bed, cleaned the kitchen, and gave me a foot massage until I fell asleep.

And to be honest, it’s a really good thing he did all that. The next day I was still in a lot of pain and off from work, when the electricity man came to cut our power, because the hubby didn’t pay our bill… since January. Despite the fact that I have reminded on numerous occasions.

So there I was… UTI, food poisoning, and now with no power in the house.

Lol.