Why You Need A Tribe, Especially If You Have A Special Needs Child Like Me

Finding your tribe.

I used to be a single mama to my two boys. It was hard. It was lonely. Ayub being autistic made things harder. We never fit in. We were seen as weird. We were always outsiders. It felt like it was us against the world for a long time.

Things are so much better now, and it’s all because we’ve been so blessed to be surrounded by amazing people.

So I just want to say thank you.

To Mr Ninja, for loving and accepting a divorced mother of two and being a great dad to our four kids. For giving your all in raising a special needs child without a second thought.

To my brother Adam and our parents. For taking the time to learn and understand. To drop everything on the spot to lend a helping hand, a sympathetic ear, a shoulder to cry on.

To Judith, my boss, for taking a chance on me. For allowing me to grow professionally and personally, for giving me all the flexibility to work from home when needed, to disappearing in the middle of the day to ferry Ayub between school, home, and therapy.

To Gowri. I don’t know what I would do without you. You were the first person I told when we found out Ayub was autistic. If it wasn’t for you, we wouldn’t have found Oasis Place and got him the support he needed. You’ve listened to every problem I’ve faced and celebrated every success we’ve had, no matter how small. I labb u.

To all my teammates at SAYS. For loving my kids. For supporting Ayub’s insect business by buying notebooks and tote bags. For going above and beyond looking for a drum kit because he wants to learn how to play. For sharing your personal experience as a person on the spectrum and giving him a new mechanical pencil. For listening to me worry and question and stress out at every new crossroad we faced. For taking the time to really think and consult with others before giving me advice when I asked for it.

To the Acton Academy Kuala Lumpur community, the guides, the eagles, the parents. For encouraging and cheering on Ayub when he was at his absolute lowest in confidence and self-esteem. For showcasing his talents that we didn’t even know he had.

To everyone at Oasis Place Malaysia from the smiling faces that greet us when we walk in to the therapists that care so deeply about each child. For talking to Ayub as a person. For listening to him. Like really listening to him. To Emma. For everything.

To Lisa and My Bricks4Kidz for never underestimating Ayub, for pushing him to be better, for seeing his potential and nurturing it.

And finally, to you Facebook people. For all your words of support and encouragement. For all your messages and emails. I was nervous to post about what it’s like to raise a special child. To be judged in public. But you’ve all been so kind. So, thank you for coming along on our journey.

I don’t feel alone anymore. Thanks guys. You ma tribe. 

[Here’s a picture of Ayub with an insect keychain he got from my amazing teammate, Ihsan, who bought this for Ayub just because he knows how much Ayub loves bugs. 🥰]

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram for more updates because I get lazy to blog.