So since finding out that I’m pregnant with baby #4, I’ve been feeling the pressure of getting Aisha ready for the new addition. It was much easier with Ayub, getting ready for Sulaiman. And even easier with Sulaiman, getting ready for Aisha. Mostly because we were living with my parents at that time, and the boys were so close to their grandparents that they weren’t so stuck to me.

Aisha, on the other hand, shares my shadow.

Here’s my to-do list before Baby #4 arrives:

Why was it so damn hard to wean and sleep train Aisha?

Because I seriously fucked up.

I struggled with motherhood A LOT when Ayub was born. One of the hardest things with him was not being able to breastfeed him. I got a bit better as a Mama by the time Sulaiman arrived, but I couldn’t breastfeed him either, so instead I pumped exclusively.

TINY SULAIMAN!

With Aisha, I was determined to breastfeed. And because I had Mr Ninja’s full support, it was easy. I went to Gina’s Place to learn how to breastfeed. Buuuuuut… I didn’t do what Gina said to do, which was to NOT LET AISHA FALL ASLEEP ON MY BREAST.

She totally fell asleep on my breast. Every night from the day she was born. Until she couldn’t sleep unless my boob was in her mouth. It also meant that she couldn’t sleep through the night. Because everyone wakes up throughout the night. The difference is, everyone knows how to fall back asleep on their own. But Aisha didn’t. Because she needed a boob in her mouth. 

Aisha and I didn’t sleep through the night for two years

It totally sucks. Aisha would wake up 3-5 times a night. Not because she was hungry, but because she couldn’t fall back asleep. And it was super uncomfortable for me to sleep too. Of course. With her hanging off my boob every night.

Sooooo… weaning Aisha off my boob went together with sleep training.

Weaning and sleep training a two-year-old:

I’m totally rambling. Sorry. I write this blog for me, not you. So. Sorry not sorry. Cutting to the chase now.

1. Go cold turkey before bed

We talked about no more boob because “you’re a big girl now” for a few weeks. Then one night we stopped the boob. She cried, but she was so tired that after lots of cuddles and back pats she fell asleep on her own. After that when she woke up in the middle of the night I’d let her suckle.

Within a week she was falling asleep on her own and not waking up during the night at all! Ugh. I wish I had done this sooner.

2. That’s literally all I did and it worked

Prior to going cold turkey before bed, I did a bunch of stuff that didn’t work. Like giving Aisha a pacifier. She liked to chew on it when we were weaning. But it didn’t help her sleep or anything.

I also tried NOT letting her suckle in the middle of the night when she woke up. She would cry the whole house down. Until Mr Ninja slept in the guest room because HE’S A QUITTER.

I kept a bottle of formula and a bottle of water by our bedside so that when she woke up looking for boob, she’d get a bottle instead. This also caused more screaming and crying. I do not recommend.

3. Yeah, just don’t breastfeed them to sleep. Let the kid fall asleep on their own. Duh.

It’s super obvious. I already know this. You already know this. And yet, here we are. I messed up with Ayub (had to be rocked to sleep in a sling around my body), super messed up with Sulaiman (had to fall asleep with a bottle of milk in his mouth and another bottle next to him, ended up with rotten milk teeth poor baby), and messed up with Aisha (had to sleep with a boob in her mouth).

Why is having kids SO HARD FOR MEEEEEEEEE. Everyone else is so good at it. Omg. I hope I don’t mess up Baby #4. Sorry Baby #4. Love u lots.